Life is full of unexpected twists and turns. From career challenges to personal setbacks, we’re constantly faced with situations that test our ability to cope and adapt. While we can’t control the curveballs life throws our way, we can control how we respond to them. That’s where resilience comes in.
In our previous post, we explored the importance of self-awareness in building resilience. Today, we’ll explore another crucial component: embracing the uncomfortable.
Why Do We Feel Uncomfortable?
We often feel uncomfortable when:
- Our morals or values are challenged.
- We feel the need to defend ourselves.
- The risk or consequence is greater than our current limits.
- We have limited knowledge or experience.
If you have not had a chance to complete self-reflection on which values are most important to you. Consider completing an exercise like the one here, to help first understand where your conflicts may arise. https://thewellnesssociety.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/Values-Worksheets.pdf
Why is it Important to Embrace Discomfort?
Discomfort is a natural part of life. Whether it’s facing a difficult conversation, stepping outside your comfort zone, or dealing with unexpected challenges, discomfort is an inevitable part of the human experience. These difficult situations can help us grow, better face adversity, and develop more empathy and compassion if we approach them in the right way.
Some realistic scenarios you could encounter are below. Take a few moments to think through one using the steps and exercise below. Do you feel different about the question when you are done?
Someone just coached or provided feedback and you’re feeling overly defensive, now what?
You were just cornered about a comment you made in a panel discussion; how do you handle it?
You offered a solution on a call and were ignored, spoken over, and the conversation continued?
Walking into the leaders meeting you notice you are the only woman in the room…
Your entire Business Unit is getting relocated, how do you manage it with your team…
How to Embrace Discomfort
Embracing discomfort isn’t always easy, but it’s a skill that can be developed. Here are some strategies to help you navigate uncomfortable situations when they happen:
- Pause and Reflect: When you feel uncomfortable, take a moment to pause and reflect on the situation. What is causing your discomfort? Is it a fear of failure, a conflict of values, or something else? When you can say it aloud, it doesn’t have as much power.
- Seek Guidance: If you’re struggling to understand or navigate your discomfort, seek guidance from a trusted mentor, coach, or therapist.
- Engage with the Situation: Once you’ve taken the time to reflect and seek guidance, it’s time to engage with the situation. This may involve having a difficult conversation, addressing a challenge, a set of actions, or adjusting your goals.
- Repeat: Embracing discomfort is a process, not a one-time event. It may take time to develop the skills and mindset needed to navigate uncomfortable situations.
In the Pause and Reflect stage there is an activity you can complete anywhere. I call it the Three Person Exercise. You will
- Create 3 index cards or papers with the Labels: Me, Them, Neutral Third Party.
- Stand on the Me card and state the situation. What happened? What are you feeling? Why is it bothering you?
- Now, physically step to the “Them” card/space. Now you are going to state the situation again but in a way that tries to account for the situation from their perspective.
- Repeat again after stepping into the neutral third-party view. Now you will try to take both perspectives and look at it as if you were someone from the outside looking in.
This is not easy exercise, but it can help you recognize why you were uncomfortable. It could be the situation didn’t’ align with your values. While you might not agree with what happened, you may feel less discomfort by realizing why the other person took the actions they did. That allows for the 3rd party view to help you determine opportunities on when, how, or if the situation needs to be addressed, or if it becomes a learning opportunity for you in future interactions.
Overcoming Emotional Hurdles
It is important to recognize that emotions can be a significant barrier to embracing discomfort. Acknowledge that you are human, and that emotions are natural. Give yourself grace and time to process your feelings before moving forward. This is the purpose of the Pause and Reflect action.
Remember:
- Discomfort is normal: Everyone experiences discomfort at times.
- Embracing discomfort can lead to growth: Stepping outside your comfort zone can help you develop new skills and become a more resilient person.
- Seek support: Don’t hesitate to seek guidance from others if you’re struggling to cope with discomfort.
In our next post, we’ll explore the importance of building a strong support system as part of your resilience journey. Stay tuned for Part 3 of our Building Resilience Series.
What are your thoughts on embracing difficult situations? Share below.
Authentic Evolution Journey 