Why failure and firsts belong together
We love phrases like “fake it till you make it” or “be brave enough to try.” Underneath both is the same truth. Growth requires stretching your mind. The more you try, the more familiar problem solving becomes. Not every problem gets easier, but you get stronger. Like studying a subject deeply, repeated exposure builds the wiring that helps you handle complexity with more calm.
When I coach clients or mentees, I remind them that progress is not magic. It is intentional activity. It is practice. Reps create readiness. Readiness creates confidence.
Practice makes it natural, not perfect
Think about medical interns and residents. Those first years can look brutal from the outside. Long hours, constant quizzing, tough feedback. It is not torture for torture’s sake. It is structured practice with safety nets. Trainees are pushed through real scenarios while experienced people watch closely, catch mistakes, and help them correct in the moment.
That kind of practice does two important things:
- It turns essential actions into second nature.
- It builds the ability to perform under stress.
You do not need to be in medicine to use the same idea. If you practice the hard parts on purpose, you reduce the chance of freezing when the stakes go up.
Intentional reps beat “fake it” every time
“Fake it till you make it” can nudge you to start, but it will not carry you through complexity. Deliberate practice will. Try this simple loop:
- Define the skill you want to grow. Keep it specific.
- Set micro-reps you can do often. Ten minutes counts.
- Get feedback from someone you trust or measure your own output.
- Adjust one thing on the next rep. Keep the loop tight.
- Repeat on a schedule you can maintain.
Consistency turns effort into ease. Ease frees up attention for creativity. That is how people begin to look “naturally talented.” Most of the time, it is reps.
What to practice when life is busy
- At work:
- Shadow someone for a single meeting and note two behaviors to try next time.
- Take one webinar each month and apply one idea the same week.
- Build a five-slide “practice deck” to explain your project to a non-expert, then time yourself.
- For leadership:
- Before a tough conversation, write your opening and your first question. Practice aloud three times.
- After each 1:1, jot one sentence about what you learned and one sentence you will use next time.
- For personal growth:
- Do a five-minute “micro-courage” action each day. Send the email. Ask the question. Try the new drill.
- Keep a tiny log: Attempt, Outcome, Lesson, Next Rep. Four lines, done.
Make room for healthy failure
Failure is not proof that you cannot do it. It is information. Treat misses like a coach would.
- What happened: describe the action, not your worth.
- What it means: identify one skill gap or one decision you would change.
- What you will try next: name the next rep and when you will do it.
Progress over perfection wins every time. Small, honest adjustments compound.
When it counts, your practice shows up
Under pressure we do not rise to the occasion. We fall to the level of our training, then climb from there. If you want calm execution when the room is hot, build it when the room is quiet. Reps now are confidence later.
So ask yourself today: What tiny skill, if practiced for ten minutes a day, would change the way you show up a month from now? Start there. Keep going. Let practice make it natural.
Authentic Evolution Journey 