You Can’t Build on Ground You Haven’t Surveyed
We’ve all heard the saying: “If you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.”
In the real world, that translates to something more honest: know yourself, know what you impact, and know why you’re doing it—or you’ll be miserable.
I’ve faced retaliation. I’ve worked in toxic environments. I’ve had leaders who made my life harder than it needed to be. But what kept me moving forward wasn’t pretending it didn’t hurt—it was awareness. Awareness of the bigger picture. Awareness of what I was trying to accomplish. Awareness that my mission wasn’t defined by someone else’s dysfunction.
When I could find joy in some part of the work—knowing I was building something useful, helping someone, or moving toward a goal that mattered—the other stuff bounced off easier.
Not always. Not perfectly. But enough to keep going.
That’s what awareness does. It gives you the clarity to separate what matters from what’s just noise.
What Lack of Awareness Looks Like
I once had a colleague—a really talented senior developer—who constantly complained about how others less senior were getting promoted. They wanted to be an architect. They had the technical chops. But their attitude was the real blocker.
And they couldn’t see it.
Even when it was gently pointed out, they weren’t willing to accept it. They didn’t have the awareness to realize how they were showing up—or the willingness to change the reputation they’d built.
Eventually, they left for another role. They got hired. But they still weren’t happy, because it wasn’t the role meant for them. They were chasing a title without understanding what they really wanted—or what was holding them back.
I’ve also seen senior executive leaders who succeed by building strong teams. They’re relationship-driven, great at delegating. But once cuts happen or a key team member leaves, they have to step up—and suddenly it’s clear they’re missing the foundational skills. Their role gets layered or they move elsewhere.
In both cases, the pattern is the same: lack of awareness leads to stagnation.
The Cost of Refusing to Look
The biggest cost for those who are unable—or unwilling—to build awareness? Stagnation.
They continue to see others achieve success. They feel angry, frustrated, envious. But in reality, they’re making a choice of inaction that keeps them exactly where they are.
They miss out on opportunities, connections, and experiences that could not only help them on the journey to success but multiply that success later on.
Everything is a choice.
Even choosing not to look is a choice.
How to Start Building Awareness
If awareness is the foundation, how do you actually build it?
Here’s a simple practice I give clients:
Track Your Emotional Reactions
When you feel yourself react—emotionally, defensively, jealously—to something someone said or something you observed, write it down.
Then ask yourself:
- What was the thing they said or have that made me react?
- What would it take, in my own world, to achieve that?
- Is this something I actually want—or am I reacting to an idea of success that doesn’t even fit me?
This grounds you in reality. It separates envy from aspiration. And it helps you see whether the path forward is even one you want to walk.
Sometimes the answer is: Yes, I want that. Here’s what I need to do.
Other times it’s: Actually, that’s not my version of success. I can let this go.
Both answers are valuable.
Awareness + Boundaries = Protection
Here’s where boundaries come in.
When you know that a person or situation causes you to react—or overreact—awareness gives you the power to choose.
You can:
- Work toward lessening your response.
- Put boundaries in place to protect your energy.
Example:
If I know that John Doe’s comments cause me to spiral or not show up as my best self, I can choose to stay away. I can politely decline events where he’ll be present. I can prepare mentally if I have to interact with him.
If I know certain topics trigger strong reactions, I can steer conversations away—or remove myself entirely.
Boundaries are rooted in choice.
And choice is rooted in awareness.
If a line is crossed, I can be flexible and polite—or I can hold a hard boundary and walk away. But I can only make that call if I see the line in the first place.
Awareness Is the First Step—Not the Only Step
Awareness alone won’t change your life. But nothing changes without it.
You can’t fix what you can’t see.
You can’t grow where you refuse to look.
And you can’t build a solid foundation on ground you haven’t surveyed.
So if you’re frustrated with where you are—if you’re envious of someone else’s success—if you feel stuck—start here.
Ask yourself:
- What am I not seeing about myself?
- What patterns am I repeating without realizing it?
- What would someone I trust say if I asked them for honest feedback?
The answers might sting. But they’ll also set you free.
Next up: Part 2 – Willingness: The Superpower of Readiness
Because awareness shows you the work. Willingness is what gets you to pick up the shovel.
Authentic Evolution Journey 