Analog Moments in a Digital World: A Mountain Reflection on What Matters

Photo by AS Photography: https://www.pexels.com/photo/photography-of-person-ice-skating-880497/

By the Fire, Off the Grid

As I sit here by the fireplace, drinking hot chocolate, having read a few pages and now grabbing the laptop, I realize that this moment—without great cell coverage—is what most people would now consider… analog.

My, how far we’ve come.

The Mountain Reset

This morning was a great reflection and reset.

I stood at the crest of the mountain, looking off into a snow-covered valley. The air was crisp. The snow covered the trees, and made soft swooshing noises under my skis.

There’s just something about nature—especially mountains—that make you feel like you’re in a whole different world.

For a moment, nothing else mattered. Not the emails. Not the notifications. Not the endless to-do lists.

Just the mountain. The stillness. The presence.

That’s what analog feels like now.

Growing Up Analog

I grew up in a small town where “new” things didn’t show up quickly. We also didn’t have the funds to adopt new things until they were more mainstream.

I grew up:

  • Riding bikes
  • Skiing
  • Kayaking
  • Swimming
  • Playing outside all day
  • Going to summer camp on occasion

There were no computers. We had the library, friends, some TV, and our radio and Walkman.

The days seemed fulfilling. You could do a lot in one summer day.

Wake up late. Read a book. Go outside to play. Ride your bike to go swimming. Come back and sit on the porch listening to your Walkman until the batteries ran out. Play flashlight tag with your friends until your parents hollered for you to come in.

Otherwise, you didn’t really go inside—unless you needed food.

There were requests for your time, but it wasn’t demanding.

When Creativity Became Expectation

Creativity led to things that helped us do things faster.

And that speed led to an expectation of doing more.

The more tools we have to augment our ability to do things, the more that is expected of us.

But we aren’t machines. We’re humans.

We need proper interactions. We need rest. We need analog moments to remember what it feels like to just be.

The AI Conversation We’re All Having

Leaders are demanding more be done with AI. They’re making claims that people will be replaced.

In many instances, that may be the case down the line. But right now, in this moment, there is still a necessary human component.

If we work to keep up on new tech and industry topics around automation, agents, and AI, it can help us remain marketable in our area.

It’s different in every space. And unless it’s a modern fintech, most leaders haven’t realized their infrastructure isn’t ready yet—especially the data aspect.

People are still needed.

But it’s also more important than ever that you identify:

  • What you want for success
  • What you love to do

So that you can remain flexible and resilient as the world moves forward.

Things are always going to change. If we remain open to learning, we can more often have that feeling—like standing on top of the mountain—where we’re grounded, confident, and present.

One Last Thought Before the Next Run

As I get ready to head out for another run down the mountain, I want you to take this with you:

We can only keep trying our best, keep learning, and finding ways to remain relevant.

But also—don’t forget to take your PTO.

Don’t forget to find your analog moments.

Don’t forget that rest, presence, and gratitude aren’t distractions from success—they’re part of it.

The mountain will be here tomorrow. The work will be there when you get back.

But this moment? This peaceful, off-the-grid, human moment?

This one is yours.

May your week be full of gratitude.

When Life Knocks You Down: A Reflection on Grit, Grace, and Getting Back Up

Photo by Inzmam Khan: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-black-shirt-and-gray-denim-pants-sitting-on-gray-padded-bench-1134204/

It’s Was a Rough Week

I’ve talked a lot on this blog about the actions and behaviors that make up the real pillars of success—awareness, willingness, values, intention, accountability, consistency.

But this week, I want to talk about something underneath all of that.

What separates those who achieve their version of success from those who blame everything and everyone around them?

Some call it perseverance. Others call it resilience. Some call it grit.

Whatever name you give it, it’s a combination of:

  • Never giving up
  • Reframing what happened
  • Reinventing yourself when you have to
  • A willingness to try something different and learn from past mistakes

Life is never fair. Things are always going to happen. That’s why our time on this earth is unknown—we just know it’s short.

So how is it that you can have two people who grew up in the same town, with the same education, the same teachers, and the same opportunities—and yet still have completely different outcomes?

A lot of it comes down to choice.

When those difficult things happen, do we let them control our lives? Or do we put in the work to figure out how to work with—or around—the problem?

2006: The Year My Life Flipped Upside Down

In 2006, my life fell apart.

The love of my life left me.
I totaled my brand new car.
I lost a baby.
I was hurt physically and couldn’t do my job anymore.

The months that followed were horrible—mentally, emotionally, physically. I wasn’t always at my best. I took up gaming to escape. I put up walls to keep people out.

But I also kept going through the motions to make sure life was taken care of. I paid my bills. I showed up. I made plans—even small ones—for a better future.

And by doing that, I found new stability. I found a new career. I found a version of myself I didn’t know existed.

I don’t wish that season on anyone. But it showed me that life has a way of auto-correcting and putting us on the path we’re meant to be on—as long as we allow it.

I’ve also seen others in similar situations get stuck. Fighting the change. Asking, “Why do bad things keep happening to me?”

And sometimes—not always—it’s a product of not taking action on the things that could change the outcome.

What That Season Taught Me

That terrible time period made me more resilient. It taught me how to face obstacles that would come later—and there have been many.

I’m not saying I did it perfectly. I had to get help. I wasn’t always strong. But I still planned for a better future. And each time something difficult came along after that, I figured out how to get through it—and how to not let it happen again.

That’s grit. That’s resilience. That’s perseverance.

Not because I’m special. But because I chose to keep moving, even when it felt impossible.

Why I Talk So Much About Grace and Kindness

All of this is one of the reasons I talk so much about grace and always being kind to others.

You never know what someone is going through.

You never know how one moment—just smiling, saying hi, or holding a door—can restore someone’s faith in humanity.

You never know if you’re the only kind interaction someone has had all week.

So be kind. Be gracious. And if you’re the one who needs kindness right now—let it in. Accept it. You deserve it.

If You’re Struggling Right Now

The first month of this year has been rough for a lot of people.

If you’re not feeling it right now, that’s okay.

Pause.
Regroup.
Take some breaths.
Do something you enjoy—even if it’s small.

And try to remember: this will pass, too.

Maybe not as fast as you want. Maybe not in the way you expect.

But it will pass.

And when it does, you’ll be stronger for having moved through it—not because you forced it, but because you kept showing up, one step at a time.

Until Next Week

Some weeks are harder than others. This one was rough.

But I’m still here. You’re still here.

And that counts for something.

Take care of yourself. Be kind to others. And remember—you’re not alone in this.

Until next week.

Out of Sync: Honoring the Seasons of Misalignment

Photo by Valentin S: https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-trees-797950/

You’re Doing Everything Right—So Why Does It Feel So Hard?

You know your values. You’ve defined your mission, passion, and purpose. You’re setting aligned goals, practicing intention, and protecting your rest.

And yet… something feels off.

You’re moving through life, but not quite in it. The things that usually energize you feel heavy. Your motivation has disappeared. You’re disconnected, foggy, or just… flat.

You’re out of sync.

And if you’re like most high achievers, your first instinct is to push harder, fix it faster, or judge yourself for not being “on.”

But here’s what I want you to know: Being out of sync is not a failure. It’s part of being human.

When I’ve Been Out of Sync

There are many moments I’ve felt out of sync—regardless of doing everything correctly.

After the Merger

I remember after working on a merger and acquisition, and the business build-out right after. I was exhausted.

I didn’t want to do things I would normally do in a heartbeat. Everything felt like this big thing I had to deal with—when in reality, I had dealt with a lot worse and cut through it all like butter.

I knew I was out of sync. And I had the luxury of taking a break and focusing on me for a little while.

I know not everyone can do that. So I’ll share some things that work better when taking a break isn’t an option.

But first, a quick note: Most corporations have EAP (Employee Assistance Program) benefits that include up to 5 free sessions with a counselor if you need to talk through what’s bugging you. Your company learns nothing about it, and you get to choose to keep the person after those 5 sessions if you want.

Many companies are now also starting to offer sabbaticals or mental health leave options. So just know that if things are too overwhelming, you do have some heftier options available if needed.

After the New Role High

More recently, when I changed roles, the first three weeks were fantastic. Full of energy. Then everyone came back from the holidays, and things started coming at me from every direction.

I had to pause and think: Whoa… whiplash. What just changed?

People who had been renewed, refreshed, and rested on their time off were ready to hit the ground running—and everything was an emergency to them from having been out.

It’s okay to realize you need a minute.

What “Out of Sync” Feels Like

For me, feeling out of sync can appear in a few ways:

Brain Fog and Disconnection

Things that usually make sense feel murky. Decisions feel harder. I’m there, but not fully present.

Withdrawing

I pull away from everything except work—and then come home to veg out on the couch with the dog. I stop reaching out. I stop engaging.

Short Responses

People outside of work start asking, “Are you okay?” And that’s when I know.

Procrastination

I keep punting things down the road that I could do now. While procrastination can sometimes be helpful for me, it can also be a sign I’m out of sync with my current reality—and I need to plan my way back in.

What Makes It Worse

If I push myself to keep going, it gets worse.

My work quality isn’t as good. And then I judge myself even harder than if I had just said, “Walk awa, take a break and come back tomorrow and dig in.”

Pushing through can also cause it to take longer to center yourself.

If you’re out of sync right now, please hear this: forcing it will not fix it faster.

What Actually Helps

When I need to get myself centered and back in sync, here’s what works:

Journaling

Getting it out of my head and onto the page helps me see patterns, release what’s stuck, and clarify what’s actually going on.

Talking with Friends Who Understand

Not the ones who will tell me to “just push through.” The ones who will say, “Yeah, that sounds hard. What do you need?”

Movement

A walk. A hike. Paddleboarding. A game of volleyball. Something that gets me out of my head and back into my body.

These aren’t distractions. They’re recalibrations.

Quick Fix or Something Deeper? How to Tell the Difference

Telling the difference between a temporary dip and something that needs larger focus comes down to a combination of mental and emotional state.

If it’s a quick fix:

  • I’m still interacting with the world around me well, but it’s work that’s the impact.
  • I can take a day, a half day, or a focus weekend and get back on track.

If it’s something deeper:

  • Friends or family are asking what’s wrong because I’m short with them.
  • I start really considering a job change.
  • I feel stuck, resentful, or numb for weeks at a time.

That’s when I know it’s time to get some help from a coach, my journal, a proper vacation, or time with a mentor.

A Message for the Overachievers

I want the overachievers to know this:

Perfection isn’t a thing. We can always improve. So just pause sometimes.

No matter how much you try to do, there will still be more. So stop trying to save the world in one day.

We are human. We come with complicated emotions, relationships, and bodies that need rest. Life can throw curveballs anytime—car accidents, breakdowns, illnesses, layoffs.

As long as we know we are putting in the effort to try, and have the awareness of our faults and the willingness to learn new things, we will be able to work through it and get to the other side.

It’s Okay to Be Out of Sync

Sometimes, despite doing all the “right” things, you still feel off.

That doesn’t mean you’re failing. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost your way.

It means you’re human.

And being human means honoring the seasons of misalignment—not as something to fix immediately, but as something to witness, to feel, and to move through with grace.

So if you’re out of sync right now:

Give yourself permission to pause.
Reach out to someone who gets it.
Move your body, rest your mind, or talk it out.
And trust that you’ll find your rhythm again—not because you forced it, but because you honored what you needed.

You’re not behind. You’re not broken.You’re just human. And that’s more than enough.

The Lost Art of the Sabbath: Finding Rest in a World That Never Stops

Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-holding-white-analog-clock-8327551/

Snow Day Reflections

As I sit here watching snowflakes fall and accumulate—unusual for North Carolina—curled up on the couch with my dog, reading a book; I am reminded of something we’ve lost in the modern world.

The sabbath.

Not necessarily in the religious sense, but in the way Wayne Muller describes in his book Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in Our Busy Lives—as a sacred pause. A moment to rest, renew, and simply be.

Those moments are rare now. And for many of us, they feel almost impossible.

The Modern Time Trap

Modern life is characterized by what researchers call “time poverty”—a pervasive sense that we never have enough time. Despite all the technological advancements designed to make us more efficient, we’re more stressed, more burned out, and more disconnected than ever.

Here’s why:

The “Always-On” Culture

Smartphones and instant messaging have created an environment of 24/7 accessibility. We’re expected to respond immediately, constantly, endlessly. The “paradox of efficiency” means that the faster our tools get, the faster we’re expected to move. There’s no relief—just higher pressure.

The Glorification of Busyness

Our culture equates being busy with being productive, important, or successful. There’s a social pressure to maximize every minute, to avoid “wasting time,” and to fear missing out. Rest is seen as laziness. Stillness feels like failure.

The Blurring of Work and Life

Remote work was supposed to give us flexibility. Instead, for many, it meant work spilled into every corner of personal time. There’s no commute to create separation. No office door to close. Work is always just a notification away.

The Overload of Everything

Information. Choices. Responsibilities. Social media. News cycles. Entertainment. Parenting expectations. The sheer volume fragments our attention and creates a constant hum of anxiety—like we’re always supposed to be doing more, knowing more, staying more current.

The Math Doesn’t Add Up

Let’s talk about the 8-8-8 method for a moment. You’ve probably heard of it: 8 hours of work, 8 hours of sleep, 8 hours of personal time. Sounds balanced, right?

Except it’s a fantasy for most people.

Because those “8 hours of work” don’t include:

  • A commute (which can be 1–3 hours each way for some)
  • The cost trade-offs (tolls to speed up the drive, parking fees, or the limitations of public transit schedules)
  • The inability to leave early for emergencies without paying for an Uber or losing flexibility

The real math looks more like this:

  • 10–12 hours for work (including commute and prep)
  • 8 hours for sleep (if you’re lucky)
  • 4–6 hours left to eat, clean, fold clothes, spend time with kids, prep for the next day, grocery shop… oh, and both kids have basketball games in two different places tonight.

Anyone else already exhausted or anxious just reading that?

The Cost of Time Poverty

This isn’t just inconvenient. It’s damaging.

Research shows that high stress and lack of time are directly linked to:

  • Burnout and lower job satisfaction
  • Reduced cognitive functioning and decision fatigue
  • Physical and mental health decline
  • Diminished quality of leisure—even when we have “free time,” it’s rushed, distracted, performative

We’re not truly resting. We’re scrolling. We’re managing. We’re staying “current.” But we’re not present.

And over time, that hollows us out.

When Corporations Forget We’re Human

I think companies forget this sometimes.

Corporations are always going to want more for less. That’s the nature of business. But there comes a point where the risk outweighs the rewards.

People start missing things—not because they’re not doing their jobs, but because they’ve been required to do the job of 2–3 people due to layoffs. They’re overwhelmed. And when they’re a good employee and a good parent, they sacrifice sleep just to do more for the company.

It’s not a sustainable trend.

I know, I know—leaders say AI will take care of it and replace all the workers. But people are still going to be needed. It’s not a light switch that will magically automate the entire world. And even if it were, that doesn’t solve the human need for rest, connection, and meaning.

What We Can Do: Reclaiming Sabbath Moments

So what can we do in the face of all this?

1. Build in time when it shows up.

Have a snow day? Focus on something fun first. Then do something you need to do. Don’t let guilt rob you of the gift.

2. Budget your time like you budget your money.

Just like we split our budget into Required items, Savings, and Fun—we have to think of our hours in the day, week, and month as our budget.

There is only so much to spend.

And let’s face it: most of us have time poverty. We may be successful, but we’re poor in time for other things. And that affects happiness and overall well-being.

3. Take your time off.

I’m a huge supporter of actually using your PTO. Not saving it. Not hoarding it. Using it. Rest is not a luxury. It’s a requirement.

4. Be present in the moments you’re in.

If you’re at your kid’s basketball game, put your phone on Do Not Disturb (you have a breakthrough list for emergencies). Focus on the game. Everything else can wait.

This allows you to capture certain moments by being in that moment—creating the random smiles and memories that make it easier to keep going later.

5. Gamify your focus.

Treat your attention like a resource. Protect it. Block time for deep work, for rest, for presence. Use timeboxing. Set digital boundaries. Turn off notifications.

You don’t have to be accessible 24/7 to be valuable.

6. Give yourself grace.

Even if you align things to your values and then to your priorities, sometimes you still need to be “selfish” and plan in that sabbath time.

Otherwise, you will not be able to deliver for yourself—let alone for others.

Putting yourself first is not weakness. It’s showing you know what matters.

A Final Thought

Wayne Muller writes:

“In the relentless busyness of modern life, we have lost the rhythm between work and rest… Rest is not something we do when we finish. It is not a reward for completing our tasks. Rest is a gift we are given simply because we are alive.”

We’ve forgotten that.

We’ve made rest conditional. We’ve turned it into something we “earn” instead of something we need.

But rest is not a reward. Rest is part of being human.

So as you move through this week, this month, this season—I invite you to ask yourself:

Where can I reclaim a sabbath moment?
What would it look like to give myself permission to rest—not because I’ve earned it, but because I’m alive and I matter?
Am I living with time poverty by choice, or have I simply forgotten there’s another way?

You don’t have to have all the answers. But if you can find even five minutes today to pause, breathe, and be—that’s where the healing begins.

Aligning Your Goals With Your Mission, Passion, and Purpose

Photo by Саша Алалыкин: https://www.pexels.com/photo/compass-on-the-background-of-the-map-travel-concept-route-planning-find-your-direction-in-life-17184744/

The Problem With Goals That Don’t Fit

We’re heading into goal-setting season. Whether it’s corporate performance goals, New Year’s resolutions, or personal ambitions, this is the time of year when we’re asked to define what we want to achieve.

But here’s the problem: most people set goals that don’t actually align with who they are.

They chase promotions they don’t really want. They set fitness goals because “everyone else is.” They take on projects to prove something, not because it fits their values. They borrow someone else’s definition of success—and then wonder why reaching the goal doesn’t feel fulfilling.

If you want your goals to energize you instead of drain you, they need to align with your mission, passion, and purpose.

And in this post, I’m going to show you how.

When Goals Align: My Current Role

My current role is a great example of aligning my mission, passion, and purpose together.

I chose to enter this space. I reached out to the leader and said, “I want to help you with this, and here’s why and how.”

It allows me to remain motivated because I chose it. And even when tough moments come—and they do—I refocus on what I can do that aligns. Because I start by doing something, the rest falls into place.

That’s the power of alignment.

When your goals match your mission, passion, and purpose, you don’t have to force motivation. It’s already there.

When Goals Don’t Align—And What to Do About It

But let’s be real: we don’t always get to choose our goals.

There was a time I reported into a leader because there was no other organizational fit. That meant when goals were cascaded down, they didn’t look right on paper. They didn’t reflect what I was actually doing.

So what did I do?

I reframed what was given into my own SMART goals that showed what I would be doing to support the overall goals.

This is why many companies have moved to KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) and OKRs (Objectives and Key Results)—to allow different groups to show how they will support achievement of the targets, even if the path looks different.

It’s not always going to be easy. But if we slow down, take a moment, and ask “What CAN I do?”—it’s easier to turn that into actionable items that align to the goal.

The Cost of Misalignment

We have to believe in what we’re doing if we want to be successful. We also need to pick things that make sense with what we feel passionate about. Otherwise, being out of alignment with who we are will drain our energy.

A Personal Example

When I first moved back home after college, I needed a job. So I took one that had good pay and benefits—but it wasn’t really my best fit. It was a call center job.

I was technically overqualified, but it was what was available, and I “needed money.”

Given my values and behaviors, it was tough.

  • I don’t suffer lack of willingness and intelligence well, so some customers stressed me out terribly.
  • I love to learn, and I learn quickly—so I got labeled a “know-it-all” in no time flat.
  • That led to an image that kept me from receiving opportunities.

I had to make a plan and work that much harder to adjust my brand to be liked. It was not really the space for me.

But I did what I had to do to shift the paradigm. And that led to an opportunity in testing software that put me on the amazing path to where I am now and helped me realize what I’m capable of.

There are times we just need to do it because it’s necessary.

But when you have the chance, make sure you take the time to set goals and go after opportunities that make sense—because you will shine brighter and faster.

Chasing the Shiny Object

The other side of this? Some folks go after a job because of a shiny title or the money—to compete with some image they think they need.

I can tell you from personal experience: Go for what your definition of success is. Otherwise, happiness will continue to elude you.

How to Align Corporate Goals With Your Mission

In the corporate world, you’re likely to receive cascaded goals unless you’re the key business leader. This means you’ll need to:

  1. Look at what was sent and figure out the components that make up success for that goal.
  2. Determine what you, your team, and your role can do to support that effort.
  3. Build it out with SMART specifics:
    • Specific deliverables
    • Measurable progress and results
    • Achievable (not too far out of reach)
    • Relevant to the goal it supports
    • Time-bound (aligned to the timeline above it)

Example:

If I need to build a roof by May, I want to ensure trusses are installed and shingles are received in enough time ahead to finish the project.

  • If I don’t get the materials until June, I’ve missed my goal.
  • If I get the materials and finish the roof in April, I’ve exceeded my goal.

If you set goals that align with what you do, you’ll be more inclined to check on them, keep working on them, and it helps maintain job satisfaction to understand what you contribute to the company.

Goals—while not something any of us look forward to—put us in the driver’s seat to manage our career progression, performance, and ultimately our pay and bonus.

And here’s the reality: In today’s world, meeting your goals is exceeding. To receive “Exceeds Expectations” in many places is to go way above and beyond. There’s a lot of competition, and the bar keeps getting raised.

The Evaluation Framework: Does This Goal Align?

When I work with my mentees or complete coaching sessions for career improvement, I help them work through:

  • Defining their mission, passion, and purpose
  • Creating a clear set of statements about who they are as part of the team

The items that come out in these exercises determine what excites and energizes them.

It’s fair to say other items, to varying degrees, will drain energy.

You can’t avoid energy drainers completely—but the more you align to energizers, the easier it will be to keep trekking forward and stay true to your purpose.

Layering Mission, Passion, and Purpose Into SMART Goals

In the corporate world, we have foundations, pillars, and an overall Vision and Strategy.

Here’s how your personal clarity maps to that:

  • Your Passion and Purpose fill in the Vision and Strategy
  • Your Mission fills in the Pillars
  • Your Individual Goals fuel the Foundations to achieve the others

When you think of your SMART goals, think in terms of incremental efforts that reach toward the overall vision.

What to Do When You Have to Pursue Goals That Don’t Fully Align

In life, we can’t avoid the items that drain us or don’t align—but we can adjust our approach to navigating them.

For Work and Relationship Goals:

You’re not alone. There’s at least one other person involved. Share the effort.

Each person has a strength they bring to the table. Use it. Help each other. That will help you:

  • Stay aligned to yourself
  • Improve in opportunity areas
  • Still move toward achievement

Ask for Help:

If you know you have difficulty in an area, ask for an accountability buddy or help from someone who does have a passion in that space. This will:

  • Alleviate the energy drain
  • Keep you moving forward
  • Make you better at asking for help, too

Your Invitation for This Goal-Setting Season

Take some time this year to review your goals. Talk with your partner or leader about what you really want to achieve.

Take a few extra moments to build out goals that make sense and can set you up for success.

Setting up a few strong, specific goals that stretch you but are achievable is a good way to go.

Too many goals split your focus and lead to limited rewards.

Final Thought

Goals aren’t just about what you accomplish. They’re about whether those accomplishments align with who you are.

When your goals reflect your mission, passion, and purpose, they don’t drain you—they fuel you.

So this year, before you fill out that goal template or write your resolutions, ask yourself:

  • Does this goal honor one of my core values?
  • Does this goal move me toward my mission, passion, and purpose—or away from it?
  • Will pursuing this goal energize me or drain me?
  • Is this my goal, or am I chasing someone else’s version of success?

The best goals aren’t the ones that look good on paper. They’re the ones that feel right in your gut.

Beyond Values: Discovering Your Mission, Passion, and Purpose

Photo by Pixabay: https://www.pexels.com/photo/clear-light-bulb-placed-on-chalkboard-355952/

Values Are the Foundation—But They’re Not the Whole Picture

In my last post, we talked about identifying your core values—the invisible compass guiding your life. If you haven’t done that work yet, I encourage you to start there. Because values are the foundation of everything we’re about to build.

But here’s the truth: knowing your values is only one way to start zeroing in on who you really are.

There are many assessments and programs that can help deepen your self-awareness. I’ve taken a few. The one that helped me the most was something called Emergenetics—it tells you how you think and how you behave. Knowing both of those things can be incredibly helpful in understanding why you do what you do.

For me, it explained a lot. As it turns out, the way that I think is quite different than most of the population. That answered so many questions I’d been asking myself for years: Why do I seem so different?

While these assessments aren’t necessary, I wanted to give them a shout-out. If you have the opportunity to participate in something like Emergenetics, Myers-Briggs, StrengthsFinder, or similar tools—jump at the chance.

But now, let’s get back to the real content for this week.

Turning Feelings Into Actionable Intelligence

If we know what is important to us—our values—it makes it a lot easier to make decisions, both personally and professionally.

We can now turn feelings that are a result of requests into actionable intelligence on how we should proceed. A confirmation of sorts: Do I do this or not? And how important is it?

Values also guide us directionally when it comes to important career decisions.

Here’s something I don’t often say out loud (don’t tell my leaders this): I’m not really a huge fan of the corporate environment. It’s too toxic, too limited, and not good for overall work-life balance.

But I’ve been able to make decisions based on my own mission, passion, and purpose—And that makes the big, clunky corporate machine easier to work with.

What Sets You Apart

Something I have always known is that I like to teach others. To help them grow. And it’s something I’m very good at.

I can give people skills so they can reach higher heights than I ever will. Growth mindset.

In a large team environment, if that happens with multiple people, it becomes a multiplier—a way to lead to better outcomes.

It was after I discovered and wrote down my Mission, Passion, and Purpose that it made it easier to discern which leaders, roles, and functions I was willing to work within.

Earlier in this blog, I talked about working to determine what sets you apart from others.

This is it.

Mission, Passion, and Purpose: What’s the Difference?

Let’s break down these three concepts so you can define your own.

Mission: What You Do

Your mission is the action you take in the world. It’s the “how” of your contribution.

Example (mine):
I partner products, processes, and people in a way that helps improve the banking and fintech worlds.

Passion: What Fuels You

Your passion is what energizes you. It’s the work or activity that you could do for hours without feeling drained.

Example (mine):
Teaching others, helping them grow, and watching them exceed what I could do on my own.

Purpose: Why You Do It

Your purpose is the impact you want to have. It’s the deeper “why” behind everything you do.

Example (mine):
To create environments where people can thrive, grow, and contribute meaningfully—so they feel fulfilled and empowered in their work and lives.

Why This Matters

When you have clarity on your Mission, Passion, and Purpose, everything shifts.

You can:

  • Make career decisions with confidence
  • Set boundaries without guilt
  • Choose roles, leaders, and teams that align with who you are
  • Answer the question “What do you do?” in a way that reflects your true self—not just your job title

Example:

When anyone asks me what I do, I don’t say, “I’m a [job title].”

I say: “I partner products, processes, and people in a way that helps improve the banking and fintech worlds.”

As long as I work toward even a small item each day that aligns with that purpose, I’m fulfilling it.

The Exercise: Define Your Mission, Passion, and Purpose

Take some time this week to do this exercise. You can do it for:

  • Your main job
  • Your home life
  • A side hustle
  • Volunteer work
  • A creative project

I have two sets—one for work and one for home. They have the same values and actions but lead to very different outcomes.

Here’s how to start:

Step 1: Reflect on these questions

  • Mission (What you do): What action do you take in the world? What do you contribute?
  • Passion (What fuels you): What work or activity energizes you? What could you do for hours without feeling drained?
  • Purpose (Why you do it): What impact do you want to have? What’s the deeper “why” behind your work?

Step 2: Write it down

Don’t overthink it. Just write. You can refine it later.

Step 3: Test it

Does it feel true? Does it energize you? Does it help you make decisions more clearly?

If yes, you’re on the right track.

How This Helps in Real Life

Next time you’re in an interview or writing a cover letter, you can tailor your responses using what you come up with.

No more worrying about how to answer when the kids—or anyone—asks you what you do.

You’ll have a clear, authentic answer that reflects who you are and what drives you.

And when it comes to goal setting (yes, we’re heading into that time of year), this work makes it so much easier.

An Invitation: Embrace Goal Setting This Year

As we come to the time of year where goal writing becomes the avoided task, I ask that you invite it in.

Take the time. Look at the goals provided to you (if you’re in a corporate environment). Break them out and ask: What can I do in my current role?

Base your goals on your Mission, Passion, and Purpose. Then set strong but not impossible specifics. Each month, revisit and write down your progress so that at mid-year and end-of-year, you’re ready to show what sets you apart—what makes you you—unique and authentic.

Final Thought

Your values are your compass. Your Mission, Passion, and Purpose are your map.

Together, they help you navigate decisions, align your energy, and live authentically—no matter what environment you’re in.

So take the time. Do the work. Write it down.

Because when you know what drives you, everything else gets clearer.

Understanding Your Values: The Invisible Compass Guiding Your Life

Photo by Jess Bailey Designs: https://www.pexels.com/photo/closeup-photo-of-journal-book-and-pencils-1018133/

The Compass You Didn’t Know You Had

Have you ever had a strong reaction to something someone said—and couldn’t quite explain why it bothered you so much?

Or felt drawn to a person, opportunity, or cause in a way that just made sense, even if you couldn’t articulate it?

That’s your values at work.

Your core values are the invisible compass guiding your life. They shape every decision you make, every boundary you set, and every reaction you have—often without you even realizing it.

And here’s the thing: most of us have never taken the time to actually identify what our values are.

We inherit them from family, culture, and experience. We assume we know what matters to us. But when pressed to name our top 5 non-negotiable values? Most people struggle.

Why Your Values Matter

Throughout my Foundations of Success series, I talked about six building blocks: Awareness, Willingness, Values, Intention, Accountability, and Consistency.

But Values sit at the center of all of it.

Your values are the filter through which you evaluate:

  • Career opportunities
  • Relationships
  • How you spend your time and energy
  • What you’re willing to compromise on—and what you’re not

When you understand what is truly important to you—outside of things and people—it becomes easier to:

  • Focus on what you can control
  • Understand why you react strongly in certain situations
  • Set boundaries that protect your energy
  • Make decisions that feel aligned instead of conflicted

And that alignment? That’s where clarity, resilience, and joy live.

My Values—And How They Shifted

I’ve identified my core values twice in my life.

The first time, my top 5 were:

  • Trust
  • Integrity
  • Acceptance
  • Community
  • Respect

The second time was six months after young men tried to steal my car at gunpoint. My top 5 shifted to:

  • Gratitude
  • Community
  • Trust
  • Integrity
  • Safety

Look closely, and you’ll see the core is really the same. But Safety moved to the forefront in a way it hadn’t been before.

This is why they say that at the core, most people don’t change unless there’s a major life event.

And it doesn’t have to be something as dramatic as my situation. Things like:

  • Getting married
  • Having a baby
  • Losing a loved one
  • Getting divorced
  • A career shift or health crisis

All of these qualify as major life events that can shift your values—or bring certain ones into sharper focus.

Your values can evolve. But your core usually stays steady.

Why This Matters for How We Show Up in the World

Here’s where this gets powerful: How someone reacts to what you say is often a reflection of their values and what’s important to them.

Think about it.

If someone gets defensive when you give feedback, it might be because Respect or Recognition is one of their core values—and they perceived your words as a threat to that.

If someone lights up when you invite them to collaborate, it might be because Connection or Contribution is central to who they are.

If someone pulls back when you push for a fast decision, it might be because Thoughtfulness or Stability drives how they process information.

This is why so many of us tout being kind to others—because you never know what they’re going through.

But more than that: understanding that reactions are often rooted in values helps us pause more effectively and meet people where they are.

Instead of taking it personally, we can ask ourselves:

  • What value might I have brushed up against?
  • How can I reframe or approach this differently?
  • What do they need to feel seen, safe, or supported right now?

That pause—that awareness—can change the entire dynamic.

How to Start Identifying Your Own Values

If you’ve never taken the time to intentionally identify your core values, here’s a simple way to start:

Step 1: Reflect on moments of strong emotion

Think about a time when you felt:

  • Deeply fulfilled – What was present in that moment?
  • Angry or frustrated – What value was being violated?
  • Proud or aligned – What were you honoring?

The answers to these questions often point to your values.

Step 2: Ask yourself these questions

  • What would I never compromise on, even under pressure?
  • What do I admire most in others?
  • What makes me feel most like myself?
  • When I’m at my best, what am I honoring?

Step 3: Look for patterns

Do certain themes keep showing up? Words like:

  • Trust, Integrity, Honesty
  • Community, Connection, Collaboration
  • Freedom, Independence, Creativity
  • Safety, Stability, Peace
  • Growth, Learning, Excellence

Write down 5–10 words that resonate most. Then narrow it to your core 5.

Reflection Prompts: Going Deeper

Once you have a sense of your values, take it a step further with these reflection questions:

Reflection 1: Which 2 values would you like to live more fully or out loud?

Look at your list. Are there any values you believe in deeply but don’t always act on as fully as you’d like?

Maybe it’s Courage—you value it, but you find yourself playing it safe more often than you’d like.

Maybe it’s Gratitude—you appreciate what you have, but you don’t always pause to acknowledge it.

Choose 2 values you want to live more intentionally. Then ask yourself:

  • What would it look like to live this value more fully?
  • What’s one small action I could take this week to honor this value?

Reflection 2: What is your absolute most important, non-negotiable value?

Of your core values, which one is the absolute foundation? The one that, if compromised, would make you feel completely out of alignment?

For some, it might be Integrity—you can’t be in a situation where you’re asked to bend the truth.

For others, it might be Safety—you need to feel physically and emotionally secure to show up fully.

For me, after my experience, Safety became non-negotiable in a way it hadn’t been before.

Identify your #1 non-negotiable value. Then reflect:

  • How does this value show up in my daily life?
  • Are there any areas where this value is being compromised—and what do I need to do about it?

Reflection 3: How can understanding others’ values shift how you show up?

Think about a recent interaction that felt tense or misaligned.

  • What value might the other person have been protecting?
  • How could you have met them where they were, instead of where you expected them to be?
  • What might change if you approached similar situations with curiosity about their values first?

This kind of awareness doesn’t excuse bad behavior—but it does create space for connection, empathy, and more effective communication.

Why This Work Matters

Your values aren’t just words on a page. They’re the foundation of how you show up, make decisions, and protect your energy.

When you know them, honor them, and live them—everything else gets clearer.

And when you recognize that others are navigating the world through their own set of values? You become more compassionate, more patient, and more effective in how you connect.

Because at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to live aligned with what matters most.

Want to Go Deeper?

Subscribers received guided exercise to help identify their core 5 values, subscribe to Authentic Evolution and get access to exclusive content.

Final Thought

Understanding your values is one of the most important pieces of self-awareness work you can do.

It’s the foundation beneath resilience, intention, and authentic living.

So take the time. Reflect. Write them down.

Because you can’t build an authentic life on borrowed values. You have to know what’s yours.

Discovering Your Core Values: The Foundation of Authentic Living

Subscribe to continue reading

Subscribe to get access to the rest of this post and other subscriber-only content.

Permission to Pause: When Rest Is Productive

Photo by Thought Catalog: https://www.pexels.com/photo/person-holding-cup-of-coffee-2228554/

The Energy Crash After the Sprint

The Christmas and New Year’s holidays just wrapped up, and for many of us, it’s okay to feel emotionally tired. It’s okay to need to put yourself first.

For me, the previous three weeks were incredibly energized and productive. I accomplished so many things I’d been wanting to tackle, in addition to laying the foundation for my new role. I felt on fire—clear, focused, momentum building.

Then I woke up one day and just felt disconnected.

Not sad. Not burned out. Just… off.

And here’s what I want you to know: It’s normal to have days that are not 100%.

When Rest Becomes Your Job

When these days happen, it’s important to treat recovery like your job. Self-care is a non-negotiable if you want to keep going after your goals.

On this “off” day, I still had to go to work. But my focus shifted. I wasn’t trying to be over the top (and I’m talking to my fellow overachievers here, where 100% can feel like bare minimum). I accomplished my tasks—cleanly, competently—and then I stopped pushing.

Here’s what I prioritized instead:

  • Nutrition and hydration. I made sure I was fueling my body properly, not just grabbing whatever was convenient.
  • A calm walk. Fresh air. Movement without pressure.
  • Reading a book in the evening. Something that let my brain settle instead of scroll.
  • A few cuddles with the dog. (This might have helped the most.)

And you know what? That was enough.

It’s Temporary—And That’s the Point

Maybe you need to do this for a day. Maybe two. Maybe a week.

Just know: It’s only temporary, and you’ll be back to yourself in no time.

The key is recognizing when you need the pause and giving yourself permission to take it without guilt, shame, or the story that you’re “falling behind.”

You’re not falling behind. You’re recharging.

And recharging is what allows you to keep showing up with intention, consistency, and energy over the long haul.

Rest Is Part of the Foundation

If you’ve been following the Foundations of Success series, you know that Awareness is the first building block. And one of the most important things awareness does? It tells you when to push—and when to pause.

Willingness means being willing to rest, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Intention means choosing rest on purpose, not collapsing into it out of depletion.

Accountability is owning that you need the pause and not forcing yourself to perform when your body and mind are asking for something else.

Consistency includes consistently honoring your need for recovery.

Rest isn’t the opposite of productivity. It’s part of it.

What Rest and Recharge Look Like

Rest doesn’t always mean doing nothing. Sometimes it means doing things that replenish instead of depleting.

Here are some intentional moments you can prioritize to keep your energy sustained:

Physical Rest

  • Sleep an extra hour (or go to bed early without guilt)
  • Take a nap if your schedule allows
  • Gentle movement: walking, stretching, yoga

Mental Rest

  • Step away from screens
  • Read fiction (not work-related content)
  • Listen to music, a podcast, or an audiobook that brings you joy
  • Journal without an agenda—just write what’s on your mind

Emotional Rest

  • Say no to something you don’t have capacity for
  • Spend time with people who energize you (not drain you)
  • Cuddle with a pet, hold a warm drink, sit in stillness

Creative Rest

  • Look at art, nature, or beauty without needing to produce anything
  • Let your mind wander without solving problems
  • Engage in a hobby with no performance pressure (cook, paint, play music, garden)

A Question for You

What are some of the activities you do to rest and recharge?

What intentional moments do you prioritize to keep your energy replenished?

Because here’s the truth: You can’t pour from an empty cup. And you can’t build a foundation on exhausted ground.

So if today—or this week—you need to pause, pause.

Give yourself permission. Treat it like your job. And trust that the rest you take now will fuel the consistency and intention you bring tomorrow.

Final Thought

High achievers often struggle with rest because it feels like stopping. But rest isn’t stopping—it’s strategic recovery.

And the most successful, resilient people I know? They’ve learned that rest is not a reward for working hard. It’s a requirement for continuing to work well.

So take the pause. Honor the disconnection. And know that you’ll be back to yourself—recharged, refocused, and ready—in no time.

Foundations of Success: Consistency – The Compound Effect of Small Actions

Photo by Diva Plavalaguna: https://www.pexels.com/photo/people-holding-gray-puzzle-pieces-6147363/

Your Reputation Is Your Pattern, Not Your Peak

We’ve spent the last five posts building a foundation: Awareness, Willingness, Values, Intention, and Accountability.

But none of it matters if you don’t show up consistently.

Because here’s the truth: Consistency is what makes everything else stick.

It’s not the single big moment that defines you. It’s the pattern. The small actions, repeated over time, that compound into the reputation, results, and resilience you’ve been working toward.

Consistent Small Actions = Long-Term Success

Consistent small actions mean looking at many levels: the daily, weekly, or monthly actions you take. And over time, that consistency leads to longer-term successful outcomes.

For me, consistent repetition trained me to have some of these skills as second nature. That’s why I use the phrase “fake it till you BECOME it”—not “fake it till you make it.”

Why?

Because as you use the skills, actions, or behaviors to do something, they are practiced. That makes you better, and soon, those are part of you. Now, as you continue to learn other things, you keep getting better.

A Real-Life Example

When I gamified my bills, some weeks I had $5 for fun. Which sucked. But okay—I could get a coffee or treat myself to Subway.

Over time, I had $10. Then $20.

Fast forward over a decade, and now I can put money in savings and have a budget for fun.

That’s the compound effect of consistency.

The Inconsistency Problem

Perfect time of year to discuss this: New Year’s resolutions.

For many, resolutions are an example of inconsistent actions and goals. They start strong with saving or dieting plans but don’t follow through after a few weeks.

Why?

Because the resolution or goal has a singular point: saving for a vacation (one time), losing 10 pounds (one point), or getting the promotion (point in time).

I’m not saying that setting goals is bad—you’re going to do something that betters you. But what happens when you reach that goal, or if something brings you off track?

Follow-through is in the form of continually consistent actions—something you can grab onto and have the desire to maintain.

Examples:

  • Diets can make people feel like they’re “put out” or “suffering” for a goal.
  • Savings plans that are too strict end because people feel bad buying things that ARE needed.

So how do we help ourselves become consistent and feel we can rely on our goals?

That’s where Consistency vs. Perfection comes in.

Consistency vs. Perfection

Let’s use dieting as an example.

If I set a goal that I’m going to focus on better nutrition and being more healthy, learn and practice that, and be consistent 80% of the time—this goal is SMART. (Highly recommend looking up SMART goals and how they help us feel empowered and motivated.)

This means I’m not going to have to be 100% strict. I can give myself grace because mom made her famous apple pie and I ate a piece!

It means you’re learning new skills, practicing them, putting them into effect, and over time you’ve brought yourself to a new skill level naturally—and the byproduct? Feeling better, likely more fit, and potential weight loss.

Above the Line vs. Below the Line

Let’s take a moment to connect this back to Above the Line and Below the Line from the previous post.

If you eat the pie, give yourself grace. Take a beat to remember that you did have your salad or vegetable, and vow to drink an extra glass of water. What you did is keep yourself Above the Line.

Now, if your goal had been only to lose 10 pounds, you might get sad, restrict yourself more in an attempt to “make up” for the pie—but neither of these are healthy. This is Below the Line behavior.

Consistency isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up regularly, even imperfectly.

The Compound Effect: Small Moments Build the Long Game

We are complex creatures, and so is the world we live in. By having SMART goals where we can layer in and take note of the successes we HAVE achieved, it helps maintain the motivation to keep going.

It’s a sliding scale.

The micro actions we take on a consistent basis for each of our goals build us up to be our better selves.

Examples of consistent cycles:

  • Financial: Paying bills and doing some small planning each month
  • Professional: Quarterly check-ins for work goals, writing up accomplishments
  • Health: Adding in an extra veggie or more glasses of water each day

Small moments build the long successful game.

Your Pattern Is What People Remember

When people remember us, they remember the whole—the pattern, not just one moment of success or weakness.

An example of this was pointed out by a friend and speaker I’ve known for years. A group of us were meeting for dinner. I’m usually the one who’s there early, ensuring everything is good to go. This time, I was late by about 15 minutes.

During their speech on reputation, I was in the room, and they made a point to say they had started to get worried because they knew my pattern—and this was abnormal.

This shows that in the off moments, the pattern you live is what people notice and remember.

Your reputation is your pattern, not your peak.

How to Build Consistency: Bringing It All Together

So how can we bring this all together?

First, make sure you subscribe in order to get access to the Values activity that will be coming soon.

Then, start by building a layered long-term goal.

Goal Framework:

I want to [do what] so that I can [why are we doing it], and I would like to do it [timeframe].

Example:

“I want to learn about and practice better nutrition so that I can feel better, have more energy, and be able to play more volleyball, and I will make some basic changes each week, with a goal of seeing consistent progress by May.”

This goal allows you to still have achievement even if you don’t get the ultimate “perfect” achievement. It’s a goal you can check in on, and given its small micro motions, sharing your goal with people will actually help you remain accountable as you can celebrate and high-five your little wins.

This is trackable, maintains momentum, can be layered with things you’re already doing, and when you achieve one of your milestones, you still have room to keep working and exceeding this goal.

As you do it, these habits and changes are still going to be there. You will have leveled yourself up just by trying—and that’s what continuous improvement is all about.

Key Takeaways for Building Consistency:

  • SMART layered goals
  • Realistic achievements tied to things you’re already trying to accomplish
  • Find an accountability partner
  • Focus on micro habits and small wins over the full goal
  • Celebrate your accomplishments to fuel the motivation to continue

Series Wrap: The 6 Foundations Working Together

Hard to believe it’s been seven weeks already. I’m hopeful this series allowed you to dig in and think differently about your goals and actions. You were likely doing many of these things already—and sometimes just a reminder is all that’s needed.

Here are the 6 foundational items I’d like for you to take forward:

1. Awareness – Shows what to work on

2. Willingness – Pushes you to act

3. Values – Guide you

4. Intention – Shapes how you show up

5. Accountability – Keeps you honest

6. Consistency – Brings it all together

When these six work in harmony, you’re not just going through the motions—you’re building a life and career that’s aligned, sustainable, and deeply fulfilling.

Your Final Challenge

I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t encourage you to take a reflection moment to write some thoughts down from what you’ve read and how that may change how you set goals moving forward.

Ask yourself:

  • Which of these six building blocks do I need to strengthen most?
  • What’s one small, consistent action I can commit to this week?
  • Who in my network can help hold me accountable?
  • How will I celebrate my small wins along the way?

The world is constantly changing around us. And if we are flexible and have the willingness to keep learning, then we will be resilient against what comes our way.

Final Thought

Consistency is the bridge between knowing and becoming.

It’s not flashy. It’s not glamorous. But rather, it’s the unglamorous work that changes everything.

So, show up, Keep showing up. And trust that those small, repeated actions are building something bigger than you can see right now.
Thank you for following along on this journey. Now go build your foundation—one consistent action at a time.